the black pins push so easily into the drywall.

despite the fact that black represent a place where i have no connections. a place where i want to play. black represents the hardest place to book a show.

i’m mapping out my tour. up on my wall, taped to the drywall, is a map of the eastern united states.

white, so difficult to push in, represents a booked show. red, the hardest to get in of them all for some reason, represents a location where i have a connection to try and book a show. an old friend, family, anything personal. i should of put up a cork board. and then black, pushing so easily into the drywall. black.

thirty pins later, fifty pins, feeling like a hundred. i’ve got a rough outline mapped out. who knows what it will lead to? i only have one white pin up. my fingers, aching. i should of put up a cork board.

-marc

well, here it is. my online journal. do you really want to read my thoughts? you might want to think about this first before continuing on. if you do, i’ll be posting them here on a regular basis. while on tour, among other things, i’ll be keeping my brain in check via this virtual notebook.

i spent the last month working on this website. i’ve turned into a sort of do it yourself (diy) musician as of late. except that there’s a lot of things that i don’t know how to do. so making a website, for example, takes me a month instead of a week… because i aim too high & won’t settle for less (plus i pay myself lousy wages). ah to be your own boss.

it’s all going great though because i have complete control over all the different aspects of my music promotion, which is cool. but then i’m also scared shitless to be booking a tour across the united states on my own, which isn’t cool… even if it is only the eastern united states.

i find that just not thinking about it helps. kinda like plugging your nose when you’re eating something you’re afraid of. or diving into a pool of cold water; does tightly closing your eyes really makes a difference? it’s pretending to be fearless. haha. at least i have this neat new journal to strip down in and be totally honest. i think it’s natural to be a little scared. or at least i’m ok with being scared.

-marc